


A world without

by Romanticide09



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Fighting, Helpful Bones, In Love, Jim is an idiot, Make Up, Space Husbands, Upset Spock, but happy ending, but really loves spock, mad spock, spirk, the enterprise has stairs in my writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-05 20:36:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11021121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romanticide09/pseuds/Romanticide09
Summary: Once again Jim got himself in a mess, and had to save Spock . Spock is tired of his husbands carelessness, but does it go deeper then that. Better then it sounds promise( i hope.) I am terrible at summaries. Star trek into the darkness spoilers if you haven't seen it. (not beta'd so all my mistakes.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will have a part two ^.^ Hopefully people enjoy it enough to also read that when it comes out. I am so in love with these boys.

Kirk, and Spock were beamed back up too the enterprise just in time. Expecting injuries bone's was already waiting, and waiting for them to materialize. It's not like it was a hidden secret that Jim, and Spock had something going on with each other, but it also wasn't clear on what exactly that was. The first thing that bones heard when they both came in to view was a growl, and Spock flew off the platform storming out of the room completely ignoring Bones. 

“By the pace I'm guessing he's okay, but what has the hobgoblin so worked up?” Bones started to check over Jim with his tricorder. 

Jim sighed. “Yeah I made sure of that. Surprisingly I made it out with minor injuries. Just some scrapes, and bruises.” He started tapping his foot staring at his best friend. “Are you done yet bones? I really need to go see if Spock Is okay.” 

“Ah... so just the typical bad decision.�” Bones kept doing his examine, and was also surprised at the minimal damage on his person. “Damn it Jim don't rush me, but yes I'm done. Feel free to follow your Vulcan. I do suggest you ice that elbow as soon as possible.” 

“I will make sure to do that, and you're awesome bones!” Jim gave him a huge hug, and even though he was nervous about getting back to Spock the way bones acted still made him smile. 

“yeah yeah I'm the best. Now go before I make you go down to med bay just so I can laugh at your suffering.” With just those words Jim was gone, and bones ran his hand across his face. “This is why I'm getting gray hairs.”

Racing down the corridor Jim just caught Spock as he was about to go on the turbo lift. He gripped on too his elbow turning him around the look in his Bond-mate's eye made Jim swallow, but he got his words out. They were newly bonded. Only for about a week, and it was a learning curve for Jim too feel how much it deepened their relationship with each other. They still needed to make a trip for It to be completely official, but too them it was. To already have Spock this upset with him especially during their honeymoon period he had truly fucked up. “Spock come on talk to me.” 

Spock about yanked his elbow out of Jim's grip, and kept put his hands behind his back trying to hide how tight he had them fist-ed up. “You didn't wish to speak earlier and I assumed that set the precedent for the entire evening.” 

 

The words stung making Jim's heart pound in his chest. This was a new level of angry coming from Spock, and Jim felt out of his element. “There was nothing to talk about earlier. I did what was necessary.” Now he kind of wished he could take back his curiosity on how it was to fight with Spock. 

“You are right Jim. Do not worry I will try not to bother you with talking any longer. Now if you'll excuse me I am as you say not in the mood.” It wasn't often anyone on the ship took the stairs, but Spock knew that meant no one would be around. The extra time to try to rein in his emotions would be good as well, and just maybe Jim wouldn't follow him. 

Jim knew exactly where Spock was heading. Spock actually enjoyed using the stairs sometimes for the peace, and quiet. For a minute he thought about leaving Spock alone, but maybe the smarter part of his brain told him to go after him. He pushed himself in front of Spock, and put his hands on his chest trying to stop him. “You have no right to be this upset with me for saving your life.” 

Taking Jim's hands off of him, and putting them down Spock kept trying to get past him. “I thank you for that, but it was your blatant disregard that put us in danger in the first place. “ He was proud of how controlled he was keeping on his face. 

At this point Jim was getting really irritated at how Spock was talking about him. “I think you are just jealous that the ladies were all interested in me instead of you.” 

“Vulcan's do not get jealo...” Spock was cut off by a scoff, and he tilted his head to one side with a raised eyebrow. 

“I dare you to finish that sentence since I know it's a lie. I'm probably one of the few people in the whole world who can call you on your bullshit. I admit things didn't go favorably, but how was I suppose to know it was against the tribes culture to dance with another man who wasn't their intended. It's not everyday you dance with someone, and suddenly they want you to marry them. So my bad for not fully being prepared for that scenario.” Jim had his hand on his hips staring down his bond-mate. 

Spock's controlled voice was fading. The whole even replaying in his head. “That is the precise problem. You would of known if you had questioned them before just jumping in. It is customary to find out another places culture's. I fully understand as captain sometimes dangerous situations are unavoidable. I can even accept the fact that sometimes your life will be put in danger, but I can not accept that you don't even try to avoid it when there is possibility.”

Jim slammed his fist against the side of the wall “Oh no you don't get to turn this all on me. I was handling the situation until you my possessive albeit loving husband decided to try to get in the middle. You were the one who told her father if she kept touching me you were going to rip his hands off in return. I can understand why he got a little hostile with us. When he lunged at you I just reacted. My only train of thought was protect the man I love. So fuck Spock I'm sorry I care so much...I'm sorry that I'm a terrible captain..” 

“Jim..”Spock tried to get him to stop, but it didn't work as he kept going. 

“I'm sorry out of all people you fell for me. The illogical human. The reckless rebel. That keeping you alive goes over my own will to live. You make see my actions as me being reckless, but it's really that I can't imagine a world without you in it. At least if I die you would eventually move on, and be okay. Me on the other hand I'd never be the same. I knew when I fell in love with you I was doomed. It's why I spent so long running from feelings. ” He didn't expect Spock's snarl, and the way he was slammed in to the wall behind him. Spock was breathing hard. His chest moving harshly, and his eyes were pure fire. “I don't know if you are about to kiss me, or kill me.” 

Spock pushed Jim a little harder against the wall. “I must admit both sound appealing, but you seem to be neglecting the fact that I have seen you die. That you stopped breathing, and all I could do was put my hand against a glass while you t'hy'la took his last breaths. I would of killed Khan out of pure rage if was not for Uhura. Even after Leonard used Khan's blood I am the one who had to face that I might have to go on living without you. I am hurt that you think so little of my affections for you. In some way I must have failed if you think I would as you say be okay without you.” He let Jim go, and ignored the stun look on his husband's face. “I must go meditate, and Do not follow me.”


	2. The make-up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These stubborn boys work it out, and Spock grows curious.

Jim stood not moving for a good five minutes trying to figure out when thing had gotten so out of hand. He got up, and the first place he headed for was his shared quarters with Spock. He went to put in the code, but was denied access. Only a week married, and he was already in the dog house. This is exactly why he didn't do feelings, and he could bang on the door even trying to comm Spock. If Spock wanted some space he'd give it to him so he went the second place he thought of. He didn't even remember making his way to med-bay, and the door slid open to bone's office. Without saying a word he walked right over to the cabinet he knew bones kept the liquor, and pulled out the oldest bottle whiskey with two glasses. Just in case bone's wanted some too. His shift was ending soon, and with no patients usually he was up for it. It wasn't until he sat, and filled the glasses letting his body melt into the chair that bone's finally acknowledged him. 

“It went that well huh?” Giving Jim a once over he internally sighed at how crushed he looked. He was one of the few lucky, or maybe unlucky people who knew how sensitive Jim could really be. How much shit he had been through, and even though it made no sense he had to really love that hobgoblin to marry him. 

He downed the first glass in one drink, and started to refill his glass. “Yep it went swell. He even locked me out of our quarters. I deserve husband of the year awards.” 

“I could get you back in.” Bones said matter of factually, and took a drink of his whiskey. 

Jim shook his head, and downed another glass wanting to just stop feeling for a bit. After he filled the glass once more bones stole the bottle him from, and closed it. “I won't force myself on him.” He rubs the palms of his hands in to his eyes, and thought about arguing for more alcohol. “Also I deserve it. You should of seen him bones. He was so hurt, and I made him feel that way. Can I sleep in here tonight?” 

“Oh I bet the Vulcan looked devastated Jim.” When Jim shot him glare bone's chuckled. “Sorry unlike you I don't see a difference in his face, and of course kid. No more alcohol though.” Bones got up, and patted Jim on the shoulder. “I'll see you in the morning. Tomorrows a new day.” He waited for Jim to nod his head then he exited letting out a groan wondering what he had done to be chosen for this life. 

Jim didn't remember falling asleep, but he hadn't moved from the chair. His head was laying on bones desk when he felt someone shaking him. “Five more minutes.” He mumbled, but the shaking picked up. He was about to yell when the shaker spoke first. 

“I stand corrected Jim. Only you could depress a Vulcan.” That got Jim to wake up in an instance, and he stared at bones. He swallowed hard, and finally formed a sentence back. “What do you mean?” He wasn't sure if he wanted the answer. 

“He was slouching in his seat in the mess hall, his uniform was little wrinkly, and by the bags under his eyes I don't think he slept all night.” Bones forced Jim to get up, and put a hand on each of his shoulders. “He used a contraction Jim! Damn it man what did you say to him, and I'm not kidding he said an I quote “I'm fine. You can tell the captain he is free to go to get his uniform from our quarters.” Just when I thought that was off enough I sat across from him to eat, and when Scotty said he was going to get his new award ingrained Spock simply said that would be a wonderful idea. No correction. I swear Jim only you.” Realizing how worked up he was he let jim go, and cleared his throat “Not that I care really. I just know you aren't happy if he isn't happy. I'm kicking you out now. Oh, and you are both relieved of your duties today. I already informed Spock. He said he'd be in his office in the science labs, but you didn't hear that from me.” 

Jim hugged bone's, and let go still not really smiling, but thankful for his best friend “I love you bones, and I knew you cared about Spock.” Bones began to push him out the door “Nah I could care less for the hobgoblin. It's just if you aren't happy you bother me.” Of course he would do anything to help them stay together, but he'd never admit it. “But I love ya too kid. Now go.” The door slid shut, and bones headed out of his office for his shift. 

Deciding to make a quick stop at their quarter's so he could change, and shower. As soon as the door opened there was already some signs Spock wasn't preforming at his normal state. His meditation item's were still out so Jim put them away not wanting anything to happen to them. Next the bed wasn't made something Spock always did before leaving the room. The mess did mean he had attempted to sleep in it at some point. So he went over, and made the bed actually chuckling at himself for fixing it all knowing it would bother Spock. The last thing he noticed was his clothes from yesterday were not folded up to put in the laundry, and his wardrobe was untouched meaning he left wearing the same outfit he wore the night before. Suddenly, the bath didn't seem so important so he just stripped off his shirt, and grabbed the one he had stolen from Spock that he loved so much. It was a little tight on the arms, but it was soft, and smelt like Spock. With one last check over on the room he exited, and made the trek to the science labs. 

(flashback.)  
After Spock had left Jim in the stairwell he had went straight to their shared quarters. He had forgotten that Jim left after him that morning so he had left the bed unmade, and right now he found comfort in it even though usually it bothered him. It was illogical, but he couldn't find himself willing to fix it. Instead he went over to the special shelf Jim had surprised him with for his birthday, and ran his hand over the etching. It was the date they had first confessed their mutual love for each other, and it was a quite fond memory. The shelf it self was build specifically to hold his mediation item's, and keep them in safe keeping as Jim had said. After a handful of failed attempts at meditating Spock got up, and ran his hand's down his shirt stopping to pull at the bottom. This overwhelming feeling that he had failed his t'hy'la, and all those feelings he had held inside of him since his mother's death were trying to crawl out. He was about to go lay down when his foot made something skid across the floor. Reaching down to retrieve the item he saw it was Jim's copy of The notebook. That was one thing Spock knew that no one else did. Jim had a love for romance novels, and Spock always refused to read them. Until now, he lowered himself to the floor, and opened the book beginning to read. By the time he had finished the book he slightly understood the enjoyment Jim got from them, but also felt quite sad due to a certain part. He tried to meditate a few more times until he stomach growled reminding him it was breakfast time. (flashback over)

He typed in the code to the lab, and poked his head in only a few crew members were in the back working on something. They had grown quite accustomed to him coming around so they didn't even acknowledge him anymore. One person did wave at him so he waved back giving them the famous Kirk smile, but kept his pace towards Spock's office. He had to keep himself from audibly squealing when his code worked, but then he remembered why he was down here. He took a deep breath, and as soon as he saw Spock the words tumbled out. “I'm an asshole.” 

“Good morning Jim.” Spock put down his padd. “You are not an asshole, but you did behave like one.” The first thing he saw when he lifted his eyes up was Jim was wearing his shirt, and his blue eyes were full of regret. "It did help me come to the conclusion that I can not fulfill all of your desires."

“And I sh...” The rest of Spock's words registered, and he walked over standing at the edge of the desk staring at him. “My desires? I know I acted foolish, but that's all on me. I promise to be more careful next time, and I hate fighting with you.”

Spock just stared at Jim for a second, and he could hear how sincere he was. For second he thought about just forgetting about the rest, but he couldn't do it. He brought out the notebook from his desk, and put it on top of it. “Last night I read one of your favorite Terran novels. I found myself enjoying it until the end. “ Spock got up from his desk, and in a very human gesture leaned against his desk still not touching Jim. “As a full human your life is already shorter then mine. We will not die old together, and it is me alone who will have to except I will one day live in a world without you. Spock could feel his throat closing up slightly, and he struggled to get the words out. Not something a Vulcan usually struggled with. “I will be forever at your side Jim, but just swear to me you will at least try not to put yourself in harms way. It is illogical, but I fear the day you will pass on. There will be no way to bring you back. No amount of time will ever be enough.” 

At some point during that speech Jim had let a few tears slip. It wasn't something he often did, but it also wasn't often his Vulcan spoke so emotionally. Sure he always had his own ways of showing Jim how much he loved him in his own ways that he loved. It reminded him that his decisions effected them both, and he couldn't throw caution to the wind the way he used too before Spock. He walked up to Spock sliding his hand in one of his, and his other hand on Spock's cheek. “Shit, Spock. I really am the worse bond-mate in the whole universe.” 

“I must dis...” Jim put his finger's on Spock's lips to stop him. “Just listen babe.” Spock nodded, and jim removed his fingers running his thumb across Spock's cheek. He smiled when Spock nuzzled into the touch. “First off I'm not going to die for a long, long time so get that out of your beautiful Vulcan mind. Now, You are it for me Spock. Before you I was just planning to do one night stands for the rest of my life, but no you had to come with your pointy ears, and brilliant mind. Before I knew it you had wiggled your way in, and I'll admit that even now I'm still learning how to be a better t'hy'la for you. Sometimes I will mess up. From now on I will try to be safer, and will listen better to what you say on away missions. I love you with all that I am, and I don't doubt you feel the same.” He poked his finger in to Spock's chest to put emphasis on his word. “You are what I desire. This...” He gestured around the enterprise. “What I have here with you, and our crew is our romance story. You more then fulfill my life Spock. Never forget that. You're stuck with me Spock. Poor you.” 

“I do believe there is worse places to be stuck.” He grabbed Jim by his chin, and brought him in for passionate kiss. Jim was right they had many years to go, and he would remember to enjoy them, and not worry about the far away future. Mid- kiss Jim pulled away actually making him whine from losing the contact. Not that he would admit too it, but after the night he had all he wanted was Jim close. 

Jim stopped the kiss, and took a breath before grinning “Good too see your sense of humor is back, and Yes you're right no thinking of years from now. I only stopped to suggest we go back to our quarters. When I went to change I saw the bed wasn't made, and with the bags under eyes I assume you didn't sleep long.” 

Letting go of Jim's hand he went over to put the things away on his desk. He even stuck the book back in his drawer. He was not going to fight his mate's suggestion as going to their quarters sounded very appealing. “I actually did not sleep at all Jim. You left after me the night before and left it unmade. For some reason it brought me comfort, and I could not bring myself to make it. I instead sat on the floor reading the book, and when I finished I failed at meditating three more times on top of the previous five.” He saw Jim's face fall. “Do not look so sullen ashayam. All is well now, and we are better for it. I think is what you would say.” 

“Correct, babe. Okay then that means we nap before the make up sex.” Jim said retaking his hand in Spock's while leading him out the door. 

Spock squeezed Jim's hand back letting the gold strings of their bond vibrate through him. Ignoring the small coos from the corner of the science labs as they walked through. As the door slid open to the hallway Spock's curiously got the best of him. “How does one make up sex?” 

The hallway was full of crew members, and they all faded as Jim stopped dead in his tracks staring at Spock in surprise. “You've never had make- up sex?” He watched Spock just shake his head. “Not even with Uhura?” 

“It is not something Nyota ever brought up. I would not object to you teaching me what the difference is between normal sex, and this make up sex.” Spock had said it so calmly, and so Spock like that it made Jim giggle then blush at the feeling building up in his pants in the midst of all these people. “Only you could say sex, and make it sound that sexy. Then let's get to our quarters, and after you get to sleep I'll show you exactly how it works. It isn't really that much different.”

They were walking again, and it was mostly quite expect for the small things they were saying in private in their bond. When they got to their door Spock stopped him for a moment “My shirt is quite pleasing on you. I did not like being in our quarters without you, and I love you too Jim.

“I missed you too Spock, and next time I'll bother you until you let me in. It's why I wore your shirt since it smelt like you.” Jim put in the code, and pushed his mate through the door. “Now let's take off our clothes, and stay in our quarters the rest of the day.”

“That plan is acceptable.” Spock answered as the door slid closed, and the last sounds was of Jim laughing. “” “I'm sure it is babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am thinking of making a �chapter on the make up sex. At the moment I am undecided ^.^ I hope you all enjoyed this chapter . Thank you for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, and comments are love <3 Thanks for reading :D


End file.
